Mammograms
I was tidying up folders on my pc today and came across this piece dated February 2002. It is very funny and having had my first mammogram a few months ago I can see similarities but on a whole I am wondering if technology has moved on a little bit.
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, and even if they have had them before, there is fear.
But there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE 1:
Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective.
EXERCISE 2:
Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again.
You are now properly prepared!
And just a thought for all you women out there:
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause. Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And when we have real problems, it's HISterectomy!
Send this to all the women you know, and brighten their day!
NB Original author unknown, it was something that went around work by email.
OMG, I am actually crying tears after laughing so much reading this aloud to my husband. Fantastic. You've not put me off at all.... backs away from the computer ;-)
ReplyDeleteLOL I can confirm the complete strangers are lovely ladies and cannot do enough to put you at ease. It is slightly uncomfortable and I am glad I didn't find this and follow it's advice before my appointment ;)
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